Questions
I stumbled across a forum on reddit called, “Hapa,” which targeted half-Asian, half-white people. I, myself, am half Asian Indian and half Italian-American (Mussolini Masala?) and though I knew “Hapa” generally referred to East Asian mixes, I was curious.
I was surprised to see that there was an enormous amount of anger on the forum at white fathers. They felt that the white fathers were racist and treated them, the children, with condescension. Many expressed admiration for Hapa families headed by an Asian father.
Earlier that month, I had talked to a white (former) friend of mine who is married to an Asian Indian woman. He was talking about how he and his wife were laughing about what “dorks Indian men are.” Did he not realize that if he had a child with her, it would look like an Indian man?
To be honest, this dynamic, of intra-family racism, caused by mixing races, was not one that I had given much thought. (Lucky me.) And it caused me to explode with questions: “Is it possible to be racist against only one gender of a race?” (No, but it may look like that.) “Could racism be a source of child abuse?” (Of course.) “How much of racism is connected to masculinity?” (A lot.)
Earlier in my life, in college, I had participated in an “interracial student’s organization.” Currently, I am in an interracial marriage and have a mixed-race son. Many friends and colleagues date interracially. But my general sense is that the dialogue around the phenomenon has faded: the modern “woke” movement does not seem to include it. Why?
Back to Blood
First, most of the modern “woke” culture seems to have a “back to blood” racial essentialism to it. Black Panther was celebrated for its almost “all black” cast, and its portrayal of a technologically advanced black nation. Crazy Rich Asians was celebrated for being an “all Asian” movie. Earlier, in 2010, mixed-race Barack Obama identified himself as “black” on the census.
All of these are understandable, but the reality is that America is mixing: Seven percent of Americans are from mixed race backgrounds. In 1970, 1% of babies were mixed. In 2013, 10% were mixed. The latest statistics show that around 15% are mixed. Mixed families will be a huge part of the future. Nothing drives awareness like having minority family members: minority in-laws, mixed grandkids and mixed holidays.
Bad Dialogue
Second, most of modern “woke” culture seems to be about getting people to avoid saying anything awkward. A few friends who looked at this article told me to delete the “Mussolini Masala” joke in the first paragraph. Why? They could not articulate a reason. It just caused a discomfort, and activated an instinct to play it safe.
But many of the issues facing mixed-race families, couples, and children are new. How are we supposed to address new issues without talking about them?
The Potential Benefits of Mixed-Race Dialogue
The mixed-race experience has exposed me to a truth about the human mind: people see in caricatures, and some of those caricatures are stereotypes. I used to project an air of being a nerdy Indian or a tough Italian, depending on my needs. I see many minorities playing up positive stereotypes. An unfortunate possibility is that a lot of the recent improvements in race relations could just be people replacing old negative stereotypes with new positive stereotypes.
A major lesson we drive home in the Mentor Scholar program is that all stereotypes are bad. (Yes, even positive ones.) Working with identity is a key part of our mentoring process, and we distinguish between fragile identities, like stereotypes, that are limited and limiting, and identities like archetypes, that can inspire deep change.
Creativity
The mixed-race experience has exposed me to another truth about the human mind: we all have multiple, complete identities. So, a mixed-race person may be genetically 50% this and 50% that, but they can experience both cultures completely. New research out of Duke University shows that embracing these multiple identities can lead to measurably higher creative problem-solving skills. Even better, this benefit extends to monoracial people when they are asked to think about their multiple social identities.
There has been much lamenting about the crumbling of traditional sources of identity and its splintering effect on society. Instead of trying to change the unchangeable, let’s embrace our multiple, non-stereotypical identities. If we have the courage to talk to each other about these multiple identities (and by talk, I mean answer awkward questions like “where are you REALLY from?”), we can start to reconnect, perhaps in better and deeper ways than in the past.
Remember America’s motto: E Pluribus Unum.